So I am a tumblr idiot. I’m not really sure how any of it quite works, and given that I’ve done almost all of this from my tumblr iPhone app, I suspect that i’m using a less than complete interface to opperate this breathtaking blog.

So I just want to take a second to say thanks to all the folks, poker nerds and non poker nerds alike, who read this and leave comments. If I knew how to comment back to say thanks and/or answer your questions, then I would!!!

But I don’t. Because I’m techtarded.

But I’ll figure it out eventually. Until then just a huge group thanks to everyone who keeps checking in my progress and reading these dumb posts. It’s fun to scribble them down when I know a few of you are reading them.

That’s it. Group hug is now over.

(A warning. This is going to be long and poker-nerd heavy.  And due to the fact that I’m typing it entirely into my phone, it’s bound to be chock-full of typos. You’re welcome.) 

So I’ve decided to do something fun and potentially exhausting. I just sat down at commerce and bought into the hundred game. And the following is a running diary, typed live into my phone from the table. Hand for hand as it happens. For all you poker nerds, I’m in seat 8 and sat down in first position. 

1. AKd First position, first hand, so I limp. Four callers. Flop a king. Bet out 10. Everyone folds. 

2. KJh. I’m in the big blind and I make a one unit raise. Get the original three limpers to come along. Flop Q10h with a blank. Now I have an up and down straight flush draw. It costs me 40 to see the next two cards. I miss. 

3. 10-5. Small blind. Complete for a buck. Miss the flop. I fold. 

4. 7-10. Fold. 

5. KJ offsuit. Raised on front of me to 24 bucks. Fold. 

6. 7-3. Fold. 

7. 55. I raise in early position to 9. Get reraised by the douche in seat 3 to 100. I fold. He shows AK. I’m going to enjoy taking retards money later. 

8. 9-10. Fold. 

9. Q6. Big blind. “Free” flop. I miss. Fold to a bet. 

10. 6-2. Fold in the small blind to a raise. 

11. AJo. Raise to 12. Two callers. Flop k93. Continue bet looking to pick it up. All in for my remaining 22 bucks. It works. 

12. 99. These hands are pretty good. Raise to 12 again. Flop and ace and a king and a deuce. Shit. C-bet anyway for 20. Get one call. Shit. Deuce on the turn. Turn a miricle 9. Holy shit. Ship my last 40 bucks. Get called by AQ. Suddenly I’m sitting on 153 in chips. 

13. 5-8. Fold. 

14. 22. Limp for three bucks. Miss the flop and fold to a bet. 

15. 33. Fucking weird. Lots a good starting hands in just 15 hands. Short stack pushes all in for 20. I call. Bad call. I miss. Fold to a big bet on the flop from the third player in. 

16. JJ. What the fuck. Raise in front of me to 25. I go all in for my remaining 130. Get called by the raiser only. I fucking hate jacks. Flops JJ9. Holy shit. Quads. I fucking love jacks. They hold up. Obviously. 269 in chips. This is an insane 16 hand run so far. 

17. 34. Fold. 

18. K6c. 6 people including me limp. I’m just running too good to fold. Flop a 6. Bet out ten. Get one call. Turn is no help. Bet out 20. The guy folds. 

19. 23c. Ok comming back to my senses. I fold. 

20. 23s. Apparently not.  I call. Whoops. Big whiff on the flop. I fold to a bet. 

*pretty great start. 20 hands in and I’ve got 266 in chips. 

21. 7-4. Fold. 

22. K8. Fold. 

23. A9. Second position. I reluctantly fold. I’m supposed to fold this here. But I hate that. 

24. A9 AGAIN!!!  This time in first position. Ugh. I saw the whole board last time and my A9 was no good. Maybe the poker gods are telling me something…  I fold. Flops KK5. I am the best. 

25. AJ. My reward for folding a9 twice. I raise to 16. Get three calls. Flop comes J high. I bet the pot for 59. No calls. 

26. 94 in the big blind. Free flop. Miss and fold. 

27. J5d. Small blind. Complete for a buck. Check the entire board. River 5. I win. Hilarious. 

28. J9. Raise in front of me. I fold. 

29. Q9. Fold. 

30. 10-2. Fold. 

31. 10-7. Fold.  I feel like I have picked up a weird amount of tens so far tonight.

There is a very weird grumpy old guy to my left who is just giving money away. He makes bad call after bad call, loses, and just mumbles about “these fucking dealers.” I need to get in a hand with this clown.   

32. 6-8. Fold. 

33. 5-3. Fold. 

34. 45h. In the big blind. Free flop. Thought about a raise for a second. Then snapped out of it. Flops AJh 10c. Everyone checks the flop. Ad on the turn. I call 10. Brick the river. Fold to a bet of 25. 

35. 10-5d. Chop in the small blind. 

36. A9. For a third fucking time. I call a 12 dollar bet. Whoops. Miss the flop and have to fold. 

37. 34d. Raise and reraised in front of me. I can’t fold fast enough. 

38. 8-3. Fold. 

39. 7-4. Fold. 

40. K6. Fold. 

After 40 hands I’m sitting on 291 in chips. A noticabley (that CAN’T be spelled right) smaller profit on these twenty hands than the first twenty. But still moving in the right direction. 

41. 10-6c. Another fucking 10. Fold. 

42. 7-2s. Fold. 

43. K6. Big blind. Free flop. Miss. Fold. 

44. A10. Call a raise in late position. Flop an ace. Bet it. No calls. 

45. 67s. Call three bucks. Miss. Fold. 

46. Q8. Fold. 

47. 6-9. Fold. 

48. Q10d. Raise to 10. One call. We check all the way down. I miss every street. Get off super cheap. 

49. 4-8. Fold. 

The grumpy clown just got cracked and bought in for another hundred. He’s carved 400 into this game since I got here. And that’s only 49 hands.

-Took a ten hand break to take a phone call at the table. Folded every hand. Only one I thought about was A10, but it was raised in front of me. I mucked, then the big blind reraised with what will turn out to be KK. I’m pretty great at poker.  

59. QJh. Raise to 15. Miss the flop by a mile. Bet across the table I fold. 

60. KJ. I call. Flops AK8. I bet. Get one call. Bet the turn. He folds. I feel ok because there was no raise preflop, so I’m not suspecting an ace in his hand. 

61. K9. I limp. Family pot. Flop fucking quads!!!  Flop is KKK. check around on the flop. Turn a four. Checks all the way to the button who bets 10. Thank god. Then with 3 people left if front of him to act the grumpy old clown folds out of turn. Three people behind him fold. Then the guy who was considering calling folds because there’s no money in the pot to chase. I’m going to kill this old fuck.  The river comes heads up. I bet 25 get called. Fucking old ass clown cost me a few bets. 
 
62. A3. Fold. 

63. 88. I raise 16. Get two calls. Flop comes 6 high with two spades. I bet 30. Get two calls. Uh oh. Turn is a king of spades. Shit. I bet 45. Bad move. Raised by the first caller to 90. I’m cooked. All in by the second caller for about. 200. I’m SUPER cooked. I fold. That was a lousy fucking turn bet. Bye bye 90 bucks. Back down to 190 chips. Ugh. Serious misplay.  

64. Q2h. I fold. 

65. 10-4d. Fold. 

66.  7-5. Fold. 

I just violated some sort of state law I’m sure by taking a picture of this grumpy old asshole who is sitting to my right. I still don’t have any of his money. This is my new goal. 

67. 2-3. Fold. 

We’re six handed now. Time to get aggressive. 

68. KJ. Raise to 12. One caller. Flop top two. Check the flop. Bet the turn. He folds.

69. A-4 in the big blind. Raise. Two callers. Miss the flop. Check. A bet. Then a raise. I fold so fucking fast. 

70. Q10. I limp. Then get raises to 35 preflop. I fold. He gets one call. He loses with pocket threes. What a dick. I would have turned broadway for the nut straight. 

71. 7-3. Fold. 

Five handed now. Time to steal some pots. Or at least try. 

72  K7. I call a one unit raise. Miss the flop. Turn a seven. Bet and take it down. 

73. J10h. Raised to 12 in front of me I call. Flop a ten. Short stack who raised pushes all in. I call. He has aces. Fucking whoops. Back down to 147. Shit. 

74. 10-4. Fold. 

Full table now. Time to tighten up. 

75. 6-8. Fold

76. 5-7 in the big blind. Free flop. Flop an up and down draw. Spend 30 bucks missing it. Great. Down to 112.

77. 5-4. Fold. 

78. 8-9. Fold. 

79. J4. Fold.

There’s a new guy directly across from me wearing a black long sleeved tshirt that says “courage” in huge bedazzled letters. The old clown is gone, but this guy needs to be taxed. 

80. JKh. I raise to 15. The bedazzle douch calls. The flop comes 10 high. All clubs. I check. Mr. Bedazzled bets 20. I fold.  Down to 90. Shit.

My phone died. Damned iPhone batteries. I stayed and played another 20 hands or so. Got kings cracked. Bought back in. Built my stack up to about 300 on one hand when I flopped broadway against two different two pairs.  Then this fucking hand came: 

Last Hand. K10. I’m on the button and call a raise of 12. So does the small blind. Three players. Flop comes KKQ. Hell yes. Small blind checks, initial raiser bets thirty. I’m contemplating a raise, to push the small blind off of a straight draw but choose to only call, wanting his thirty bucks in there too. If the turn is an ace, jack or ten, then I’ll slow down. 

The turn is a harmless six. I bet out 75. And the small blind pushes all in. Fuck. The initial raiser mucks and it’s on me to put another 65 in. I can’t fold for 65, and I even think (or am hoping) that my K10 is good here. I call and he flips over K2. Now all I have to do is dodge a queen or a six for a chop, or an impossible 2. 

River 2

Fucking unbelievable. Fucking poker. 

I had 28 bucks left in front of me, and I steamed it off on the next hand. 

Then I walked out, down two hundred and sat in rush hour traffic boiling with rage. King fucking deuce.

If you read all of this, thanks. If you didn’t, I don’t blame you. 

Buy in: 200.  Cash out: o.  -200

Total profit/loss +1,857.00     
     

Another overnighter.

Another good session.

Bought in for 200, cashed for 600 exactly. +400

Total profit/loss: +2,057.00

I was aching to get over that two thousand dollar hump. Next goal… Five thousand.

I’ve got lots to say about this session, but I’m too damned tired to deal with it now.

I’ll fill all of you poker junkies (and Andy) in on it tomorrow. For now… Sweet sweet sleep.

Ahhh….

This feels like it has been a year in coming.

It was brought to my attention last night that the most recent posts on this insane blog might have left quite a lot to be desired. Truth be told: I was angry. Angry at the game for punishing me for making right decisions (most of the time). Angry at the opponents for getting rewarded for getting their money in bad against me (most of the time).

But poker is a game math at the end of the day. And the math pendulum finally swung back in my direction last night, and I stopped the downward spiral of losing to idiots.

What I’m most pleased about is that I PLAYED my way into profit.

Sometimes the cards just play themselves all night. Fold a bunch of rags and pick up the occasional monster, and it holds up.

Last night this was very much not the case. I only picked up two pocket pairs all night. Nines, which didn’t get any action after I continue bet the eight-high flop; and sixes, which I flopped a set with, and got paid off with by one player.

The rest of my money I earned. I picked up AK at least 5 times. Missed every time except the last. One of those misses resulted in my biggest blunder of the night, when I pumped 130 bucks into a pot, only to find out that I was betting directly into a full house. The last hand won me about fifty bucks. So overall, my AK bottom line was waaaaay in the red for the night.

The rest was a combination of good flops for my medium hands (kq, kj, a10 etc) well reasoned moves when I was convinced that I would get the result that I wanted, a few really great calls (if I do say so myself), a bit of luck, and good use of my position. I played better than I have played in a few session, and had the deck on my side. What a great fucking feeling.

But I DID lose 5 dollars on a side bet regarding how old the babyfaced player to my right was. I had 5 bucks on not a day over 22. I lost when he produced his legit CADL and proved that he was 27. There was 20 bucks in side action over this. Kinda awesome.

Bought in for 100. Cashed out for 512. +412

Total profit/loss: +1,657.00

Down another two hundred.

I’m taking a break for a week or two.

Poker is a fucking curse.

Net profit/loss: + 1,245.00

The hits just keep coming.

Hollywood Park, the place where absolutely no dreams come true.

I played a medium game. Made too many calls, chases one flush, and missed, and got pocket kings cracked by pocket queens.

On the upside, I only bought in twice.

You know it’s a banner night when the upside is that you only lost two hundred bucks. It’s been a brutal week, and while I know the thing to do is not get discouraged, I’m thinking about taking a week or two off and grounding myself.

Maybe one more session, and if I still run bad, then it might be time to reconsider this hair brained idea.

This is a fucking tough way to make an easy living.

The next session is going to be an important one.

Net profit/loss +1,445.00

I’ve been putting off writing this post because I’m seriously disapointed in myself.

I knew starting out that a project like this was going to take a lot of fortitude. Poker is a game that can be profitable over the long haul, but not without a serious dose of discipline.

I was convinced that I would be able to stick to my own ground rules and function comfortably within them.

Session ten made a liar out if me.

Two buy-ins, into any game. That’s my rule.

And it’s fucking important.

It will keep me from sitting there peeling off good money and throwing it after bad. I’ve seen people do this for buy-in after buy-in, and the more money that gets pumped in, the worse the playing gets. People get so desperate just to get back to even. I made peace with the fact that not every session will be a winner, even if I’m playing my best.

Sometimes the deck just has it in for you, and it’s important to be able to stand up, shrug, and leave.

And when playing session ten, I dipped into my wallet for a third time, to chase the money that I had already lost.

What the hell am I doing? This isn’t going to work if I can’t stick to my own goddamned rules.

Needless to say I left -300.

But more importantly, I left a liar to myself.

I don’t know if I can do this. I really thought I could. But this is a problem that I can’t afford to repeat.

Or I might as well just give up now.

Net profit/loss: +1,645.00

I’m sick as a dog.  But I need to not let posting on this blog slip by the way-side.  So here’s the long and short of it.

Played well enough.  No major moves, not lots of hands.  Played over night.  Started at 11 o’clcok and wrapped up around 7 am…  That’s too long.

Cashed in for 200.  Out for 605.  That’s +405

I’m going back to bed now.  I feel like death.

Net profit/loss +1,945.00

Hollywood park with my one of my oldest poker buddies.

This was a fun, light-hearted session.  Wasn’t crazily concerned with bringing my absolute A-game, just having a good time.   But it’s a session, and I said I would be reporting all sessions.  Made some fun calls that I shouldn’t have, but had a great time doing it.  Also sat next to a 90 year-old gentleman who was a fascinating cat, and a former WWII fighter pilot in the European theater.  Also a weird Francis Ford Coppola look-alike, who was chomping on a cigar and rocking hilarious amounts of bling.  Also A guy so drunk…  Jesus this guy was drunk.  

I had a great time.  Lost 80 bucks.  I’m fine with that.

Net profit/loss +1,540.00 

Sometimes in poker, you get punished for being right. This is not fair. Period. But it’s part of the game and if I can’t deal with that, then I might as well not be trying to play regularly like this anyway.

Session Seven was the session where I get punished for making every right decision. Commerce was the scene of the crime, on the Saturday after the feds put a stop to online poker. But that’s another post.

My first buy-in was scooped up by some idiot who was willing to put most of his entire stack into the pot with 8d10d. I had kings. I lost. This is brutal. This is poker. This is how I’ve decided to try to earn a living? This is a terrible idea.

Then a few hours later I had grinded (ground?) my way back up to about 250 in chips, and I picked up a pair of threes on the button. The entire table had limped to me and I followed suit. I decided I’d rather head into an un-raised, multi-way pot and try to spike a set; rather than a heads up battle with a pair of threes that I will doubt the strength of after the flop comes. This might be flawed thinking, I can’t decide…

Regardless, I call on the button, the small blind completes, and the big blind raises to 25 bucks. The table folds around to me and I call. I know this guy has AK. I’ve been playing with him for a couple of hours and I know how he’s played it in the past. I know he has AK. Has to have AK. Impossible not to have AK.

The flop: 6s 7s 9s. I’m holding the three of spades for an impossibly weak flush draw. He checks to me (AK!!) and I bet out 35 bucks, looking to take down the pot right there. And he check-raises me for an additional 100 bucks. (AK…?)

And I go into the tank. The more I think, the more I’m sure that I’m facing AK, with the ace of spades. But this is a call that I need to get exactly right. I’m absolutely dead to any two spades, any 6, any 7, or any 9, any over-pair, any UNDER-pair except for twos, 10-8, 5-8, any set (except for my low low low flush redraw)… Basically the absolute only hand that I can beat is AK with one spade. AQ is possible, but less likely given the raise.

I’m not so in love with my measly pair of threes that I cant fold, but I cringe at the idea of being able to get my money in good and failing to do so. If i’m really up against AK, then I’m getting my money in good, and just have to beat the deck… If he has almost any other hand, then I’m dead meat. For reasons that are too long-winded to get into here (but i’d be more than willing to get into mind-numbing detail if you’re intrested) I call.

“I think you ace king, with the ace of spades, which means that I’m ahead right now, which means I call.”

Luckily he was semi-short and that hundred bucks that he check-raised me was his last, so his jaw slackens and he turns over…. Ace king, with the ace of spades.

It’s the best call that I have made since starting this project.

The turn card is the ace of hearts. I lose.

Fucking poker.

Net gain profit/loss: +1,540.00 

This round of six sessions has been pretty interesting. I’ve narrowed my thoughts down into two camps.

THINGS I KNOW:

My game is good enough that if I stay at this level and stay disiplined it can be profitable. The profit comes from picking off the bad players and tourists, of which there are many at the 100 dollar buy in level.

My threshold for playing disciplined poker is 4.5-5 hours per session. Longer than that and I start to get restless, bored, or over-confidant and my discipline begins to waiver. These 12 hours WSOP days are a marvel.

My range of playable starting hands has widened somewhat to suit the game and level of play. I’m now calling unraised pots with any suited ace, any two facecards, small pocket pairs, and suited connectors. And making or calling raises with good aces, or large pocket pairs. It’s alarming how many players routinely see the flop with terrible hands, and opening up my starting range is profitable considering that all the weaker hands are worth a fortune in multi-way pots when they hit.

Cultivating a table image works amazingly well against medium opponents. Advertising at select moments will often buy you the calls or folds you want down the line if you’re consistant. Super weak donkeys are the problem. They will never fold. Ever. So knowing the difference is clutch.

Having this blog has made my game dramaticly better simply by having to be accountable. Now that I know my poker buddies read it occasionally, it forces me to keep playing well so that I don’t have to explain to them why I played like an asshole. A long time ago, a friend of mine, who is a great poker player, refered to me as “Captian Potential.” I’ve never forgotten that. The idea that I had all the potential in the world to be better, but lacked the dicipline to make it so really registered. This dumb little blog forces me to have that dicipline.

I need new music on my iPod. Badly.

People who yell “Send it!” when they win a pot should be shot on sight.

THINGS I DON’T KNOW:

Whether or not my game is good enough to be profitable in larger games. It’s a scary proposition. My assumption is that as the games get bigger the fish and tourists become more and more scarce, leaving me forced to make my money from other good players. Less mistakes to exploit, less foolish calls, etc… I’m a few weeks away from sitting in the larger games (at my current level of growth) so we will wait and see.

If it’s wise to play to a certian limit, either time or cash. Should I limit my sessions to say 4 hours period? Or move to a “tripple up and leave” scenerio, even if it happens in the first 5 minutes? (it has before.) Right now the only rule of thumb I have is not to get invested onto a single session for more than two buy-ins. But as far as leaving goes, I’ve got no hard and fast rule about when it’s time to get up. I’m inclined to lean towards the four hour mark idea…

What kind of effect this online poker shut-down is going to have. Beyond the fact that I expect the live rooms to be packed, I’m not sure what kind of game they’ll bring. At first I wouldn’t be surprised if lots of rookie mistakes get made out of boredom or frustration. It’s gonna be an adjustment for lots of these kids to go from seeing hundred of hands an hour to seeing roughly 45. And they’ve never had to learn to hide tells, memorize hole cards, read body language. This could be interesting.

That’s all for now. Sorry for the jargon-heavy, joke-light post. I’ll think of something witty and clever for the next one. If you read all the way through this, thanks for doing so. The few of you out there who do, make me keep my game as solid as possible.

Cheers.

What. A. Fucking. Grind.

Got to Commerce about 11:00 pm and left at 4:00 am.

Five hours. Never picked up a premium hand.

But through a super tight table image and some very calculated, strategic moves I ended the night +201.

Now I’m at the day job on very little sleep.

Employee of the month, here we come!

More thoughts on this later after a nap and some reflection.

Buy in: 100. Cash out: 301. +201

Net profit/loss: +1,740.00